Split

from Songs I Wrote Instead of Killing Myself by Jetty Bones

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lyrics

[INSIDE]
I’m so tired that I can’t sleep,
As strange as that seems.
We say it all the time.
We sing it all the time,
But I don’t think we know what it means.
It’s when your brain is shutting down
Or when your life is turning out
Exactly how
You never thought it’d be
When you’re ignoring all your friends
You’re drowning in the shallow end
You’re standing tall as you can without any conviction in it,
Cause you don’t really wanna be here anymore.
And I don’t really wanna be here anymore.
I don’t really wanna be here anymore.
I don’t really wanna be here anymore.

[OUTSIDE]
I am stronger and I’m smarter and I’m faster and I’m harder when it counts,
Cause I am better now.
I’m better.
I’m not anxious, I’m composed
So when I’m breaking no one knows,
Cause I’m the best - but even better now,
Since I stopped blowing up their phones
And I only cry when I’m alone.
I took that picture off my home screen.
I do my breathing exercises,
Count my senses back from five,
And all my plants are somehow still green.
I practice words of affirmation instead of drinking in my basement.
I tell myself to repeat after myself repeating after me.

But after this, can I go home like You promised?
Please after this, can I go home like You promised?

credits

from Songs I Wrote Instead of Killing Myself, released March 3, 2023

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Jetty Bones Ohio

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